Closure is such an odd word to me. When one closes something, like a door or a window, for example, the thing that we don’t want to get in, say, cold air, or, a loud conversation down the hall, doesn’t. When we close that window or that door, that’s it; the thing we no longer wish to endure or tolerate is no more.
When we talk about situations of an emotional nature, on the other hand, what, exactly, gets closed? What is it that we don’t want to get in? What is it that we want to shut out?
When I consider the situations that I have endured in my life, closure isn’t exactly the moniker I would choose to use. One actually needs the participation of another party to gain closure – to apologize, to own up to their mistakes, to try and make things right, to simply acknowledge that they hurt you. I can honestly say that regarding the situations to which I refer above, with the exception of one, there was no closure.
Instead, life, hopefully, goes on. Which can take years. For the simple fact that in one’s attempt to heal, one is also trying to make up for what the other party didn’t do, or, wasn’t able to do, in the case of death. But, I am talking about people who are very much alive, and, due to their own cowardice, or self-righteous indignation, or selfishness, or lack of accountability, or, all of the aforementioned, didn’t do their part.
So, I personally reject the term, closure. Instead, I prefer to use two other words: move on.